It's been a while since I last updated my blog and a ton of stuff has changed, the most important thing being that I now have a job (retail) I work 50+ hours a week on minimum wage and truth be told I love it (most the time).

The thing about my job I love is that things tend to happen that I assume wouldn't in any other setting. One of the most prominent examples I can give is Conan.

Conan is the name I've given to a 4ft Asian dwarf who came into the store one day. He literally sprinted over to me, tapped me on the shoulder and very giddily started jumping up and down like he needed to piss himself.  "I need you help find Conan" is all he said. "What the fuck is a Conan?, does this guy want that shitty 80's movie... He's gotta it's the only Conan" I ask him if its want he means but all he does is just say CONAN..COOOOONAAAANNN like some sort of really shitty Pokemon.

I take him to the entertainment section of the store assuming its the shitty movie he wants (we have a very small section which doesn't even have half the new releases) and I ask the girl if we have it. "Are you shitting me? That came out like 20 years ago, is it even on DVD?" Was the answer I got.
So I turned to Conan and told him that we don't have the DVD it's now that he decides to say "Is no deeeeveedee is Conan" I just stare at him totally dumbfounded as he giddily hops trying to get me to hurry the fuck up to this imaginary item.

Eventually he pulls out his phone opens up his translator and starts drawing kanji. 2 minutes later he shoves it right in my face, what's staring at me in big block capital letters... CONDOMS.

I nearly passed out trying to hold in my laughter, I suddenly realised why he was so giddy. How often do 4ft Asian dwarves get the chance to use a condom?

I loved that guy.

Saturday, 12 October 2013

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